South Africa sets

You know you are a South African when

  1. You produce a R100 note instead of your driver’s licence when stopped by a traffic officer
  2. You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement
  3. You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car
  4. You can count the national soccer teams scores with no fingers
  5. To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
  6. Hijacking cars is a profession
  7. Defecating in a garden can win you R1-million
  8. You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light
  9. The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
  10. More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election
  11. People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence, Samsung and Airtime.
  12. “Now now” can mean anything from a minute to a month!
  13. You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction.
  14. Travelling at 120 km/h you’re the slowest vehicle on the highway
  15. You’re genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it.
  16. A bullet train is being introduced but we can’t fix potholes
  17. The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
  18. You paint your cars registration on the roof
  19. Half your mail is guaranteed to reach its destination
  20. You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
  21. You dial a toll free number and nobody answers
  22. You have to prove that you don’t need a loan to get one
  23. Prisoners go on strike.
  24. You don’t stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car.
  25. You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once.
  26. Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high.
  27. When 2 Afrikaans TV programs are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad.
  28. The employees DANCE in front of the building to show how unhappy they are.
  29. The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished viewing.
  30. You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather.
  31. You call a bathing suit a “swimming costume”.
  32. You stop at robots, not traffic lights.
  33. You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you’ve never had any.
  34. You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them.
  35. You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela.
  36. You go to “braais” (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously.
  37. You have a gear lock for your car.
  38. You’ve never seen snow in real life.
  39. You know that there’s nothing to do in the Free State.
  40. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa because you know its true…

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8 Responses to “You know you are a South African when”

  1. Kaveshan N 13 May, 2010 at 12:07 pm #

    Hello???

    Reply
  2. Mzwaga 11 Aug, 2010 at 12:10 pm #

    That’s absolutely what we are…our own unique way like JZ said during.. the world cup.!

    Reply
  3. matthew 29 Oct, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    i’m from south africa,i just want to say that you are fucking rude and a racist fag,that shit you made up isn’t true.if you read this and laugh then that means you are a fucking bastard,and also the google-lethu+not fucking funny,i’m pissed off because of this,and if you are south african then you have serious problems

    Reply
  4. matthew 29 Oct, 2010 at 2:28 pm #

    i’m from south africa,i just want to say that you are fucking rude and a racist fag,that shit you made up isn’t true.if you read this and laugh then that means you are a fucking bastard,and also the google-lethu=not fucking funny,i’m pissed off because of this,and if you are south african then you have serious problems

    Reply
    • Thabang 24 Feb, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

      Chill man. I’m not the author but read my comment below.

      Reply
    • Dandada 17 Mar, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

      Have a sense of humour bra , we all need to laugh at ourselves sometimes

      Reply
  5. Thabang 24 Feb, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    Hahahaha…. Lorl. @Matthew no need to be rude and angry man. There is a mistake in the title of this article. There is a similar 1 and it’s called ‘You know that you are a black and from South Africa’. It’s funny coz it’s true for black people. Eg. When a black person says ‘tooth paste’ they’ll say ‘colgate’. More eg. Any cool drink = coke, any plastic = Checkers even if it’s from Pick n Pay. Etc. It’s similarities that black South Africans have n ada black African don’t have. So there is no need to be rude, swearing and etc. It’s a miss understanding man. Chill bra. It’s not racism, it’s actually black South Africans. There was probably a mistake when they wer naming this article. Eg. Try this: A typical black person usually counts from his ‘pinky finger’ and a white guy counts from his ‘ thumb’. It’s not always true bt mostly it is. My white friends tried it on me, n it worked. They only told me afterwards. I then tried on my ada white n black friends n they were right. Try it. And I apologise on behalf of the author for the mistake on the article name and the misunderstanding. Sorry man.

    Reply
    • Thabang 24 Feb, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

      @Matthew. Tell them to count from 1 to five showing a finger for every number. Don’t show them how coz they’ll copy you. Typical black people start at the pinky finger and typical white guys will start at their thumb. Try and tell me how it goes…

      Reply

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