Job interviews without ears

Sadly, Tony was born without ears, and though he proved to be successful in business, his problem annoyed him greatly.

One day he needed to hire a new manager for his company, so he set up three interviews.

The first guy was great. He knew everything he needed to know and was very interesting, but at the end of the interview, Tony asked him, “Do you notice anything different about me?”
“Why, yes, I couldn’t help but notice that you have no ears,” came the reply.
Tony did not appreciate his honesty and threw him out of the office.

The second interview was with a woman, and she was even better than the first guy. But he asked her the same question: “Do you notice anything different about me?”
“Well,” she said stammering, “you have no ears.”
Tony again got upset and chucked her out in a rage.

The third and final interviewee was the best of the bunch. He was a young man who had recently earned his MBA. He was smart, he was handsome and he seemed to be a better businessman than the first two put together. Tony was anxious, but went ahead and asked the young man the same question:
“Do you notice anything different about me?”
Much to his surprise, the young man answered, “Yes, you wear contact lenses, don’t you?”
Tony was shocked and realised this was an incredibly observant person.
“How in the world did you know that?”, he asked.

The young man fell off his chair laughing hysterically and replied,
“Well, it’s pretty hard to wear glasses with no f**king ears!!”

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Where the Christmas tree angel came from

When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered. Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom. Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree…

The angel said very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?”

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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Funny computer comics

Just some funny comics that relate to computer and the internet!

Computer Comic 1

Computer comic 2

Computer comic 3

Computer comic 4

Computer comic 5

Computer comic 6

Computer comic 7

Computer comic 8

Hope you enjoyed these!

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How the Chinese take pictures

Seems that Chinese people have really strange ways of taking photos.

chinese photographer 1

chinese photographer 2

chinese photographer 3

chinese photographer 4

chinese photographer 5

chinese photographer 6

Very weird indeed.

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He finally did it!

A key escaping

A key escaping

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Cheesy Jokes

Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive…

A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry we don’t serve food in here.”

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
“A beer please, and one for the road.”

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

A man complains, “Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green, Green Grass of Home.’”
“That’s the Tom Jones Syndrome,” explains the doc.
“Is it common?” asks the man.
“It’s not unusual,” says the doc.

Two cows are standing in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” said Dolly.
“It’s true, no bull!” exclaimed Daisy.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at, either.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bull before.

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
“My dog’s cross-eyed, is there any thing you can do?”
“Let’s have a look at him.” says the vet. So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes. Finally, he says “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“Just because he’s cross-eyed?” asks the man.
“No, because he’s really heavy,” says the vet.

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

I went to the butcher’s and wanted to bet him 50 bucks that he couldn’t reach the meat on the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high”

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too!

What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, DAM!”

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Childrens questions to God

These are some really cute questions that a bunch of kids wrote to God.

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