- Keep the time between purchase and consumption of the Gatsby as short as possible. Cold chips are no one’s friend.
- Cut the Gatsby into a maximum of four pieces. Anything smaller is a gross injustice to the Gatsby because there’s no way you’ll be filled by a fifth or less.
- Any chip falling from any given piece of the Gatsby is considered fair game. The ruling on this is final.
- When separating the Gatsby, note the point of division: practice absolute precision here to avoid taking the bottom roll of the next person’s piece. Ask for assistance if necessary.
- You must finish your share. Besides it being a terrible waste, you’ll be scorned by the Gatsby Fraternity for all time for being vesin.
- Grip is critical. Cup your piece in your hand so that loose bits have nowhere to fall except back into your hands. Avoid the scenario described in Point 3.
- NEVER leave the Gatsby unattended.
- It’s best to accompany the Gatsby with a beverage, ie Jive, Frulati or Cabana. Hearty burping guarantees relief.
- Observe relative silence when consuming the Gatsby. No one likes to talk and eat at the same time. Se e Point 1 regarding cold chips.
- Always wash hands with soap and water at the conclusion to avoid getting a spicy finger in the eye, a condition commonly known as Gatsby Eye. The only cure is self-induced crying. No one wants to see that, so just make the trip and wash your damn hands.
- The bra that contributes the least towards the gatsby gets the smallest piece.
- The Gatsby is not supposed to be eaten out of a plate, so make sure you ask the BB.Sc (Bra Behind Shop Counter) to doublewrap the Gatsby to ensure enough paper for everyone.
- Avoid eye contact with anyone not eating the Gatsby for fear of them asking for a “stukkie” or shouting “kap ‘n baat”.
- When sipping on the Frulati, make sure you only have 2 sips then pass… anyone attempting more than 2 sips forfeit the next round.
- othing on the Gatsby is to be wasted (refer point 5), that includes any salads or sauces still re maining in the paper… lick it up!
- When the Gatsby is finished, it’s obligatory to finish the ritual with a cigarette, beware though of anyone asking for “‘n skyf”; thus make sure you get some sauce on the filter of the cigarette to avoid having to share your “entjie”.
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